Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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