im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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