I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
