Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
