Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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