Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
