So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
