Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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