Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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