batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
