I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
