can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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