I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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