I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
