actually, I'm a sock model
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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