in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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