am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
