I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
