im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
