Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
