Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize