I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
