i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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