i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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