so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
