My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this will be a night to untag.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
