I'm so fucking centered right now
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
