and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
