I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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