dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
