I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
