We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
