is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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