oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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