I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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