Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
