I'm so fucking centered right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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