I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
