remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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