yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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