have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
