4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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