so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
