Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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