Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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