Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
