shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
