You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
