There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
