you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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