Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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