who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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