i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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