the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
