we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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