my phone needs a breathalizer
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
babies were throwing up all over the place
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He better not be in your backpack
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
