bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
