He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize