I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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