i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
