I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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