yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
