I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I see more hoeing in ur future
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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