Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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