I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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