just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize