Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
