Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
