carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just pee around me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
