so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
